ART// Year In Review 2015
Here goes the 2015's Year In Review! It's a bit late (and short) but well, better late than never.
The first couple of months of 2015 had mainly consisted of a lot of nights spent working (and reworking) on my Final Year Project. It was stressful & occasionally tiresome, but I pushed on. I believed that tough times would pass and I would grow immensely under pressures like that.
I couldn't have gotten through alone, but by relying on friends to have my back whenever I felt too weak or whenever my brains felt like mashed potato, things worked out. Always grateful to all the kind souls who helped me through times like that.
Looking back, I'm really proud of what I managed to accomplish. I never expected to be able to create so much in so little time, and pushing my own limits by attempting new methods of illustrating. The giant 8 metre painting was a crazy endeavour that although didn't work out as I hoped, I learnt a ton along the way.
Day in, day out, we pushed forward and through some sort of miracle, we managed to climb out of the other side of the FYP tunnel without too many bruises. I couldn't believe that I had reached the end of my journey. Two years had rolled by faster than a dustball in the wind.
Regrets, I had many.
Fears, I had many.
Tears, I had an entire waterfall full of.
But for equal parts of unwanted doubts, I had equal parts of optimism & pride for getting so far. I did my best and it was good enough for me.
Farewells were afoot and we set out for separate paths.
It was an unbelievable moment to find out that I had gotten a First Class Honours.
I had started school in 2013 ignorant of so many things, perpetually fearful of being called out, painfully shy about my work and not trusting in my own process. I remember trying to find a strategic spot to sit, to put up work, to plan the right questions and avoid all kinds of interactions with the lecturers so I wouldn't be picked to speak up. Hardly being able to take any comments over my work and ideas, I would stutter and my hands would uncontrollably shake while I was presenting.
So much has changed.
2014 was a crazy year, like an ocean that would not stop drowning my boat.
The tides were a little more forgiving in 2015. Or maybe I had grown up a little...nah, probably not.
After graduation, I went off on an epic adventure to New Zealand. Everything was so beautiful and such great fun. With a super-zesty bud, we walked and climbed and made a whole list of bad jokes.
Through all the fun, upon coming back from the trips I took, I found that I was lost again.
Somehow I had left all my courage back in school.
Suddenly in a gaping emptiness, with no road in front of me. Everyone else seemed to know what they wanted to do, or had jobs to go to. The hole that I thought I had filled was starting to open up again and let worries in.
Where do I go from here?
What do I do now?
I thought that the whole saga of having heart-gripping doubts were over. Well, apparently not.
The first question on everyone's lips was always, "Have you found a job yet?" and although it was spoken with good intentions, it had bugged me. I chalked up my inability to get a job to my own self-worth. (well that was a really silly period of time. I didn't send out resumes so obviously I wasn't going to get a call. Now, if I could, I would go back in time and kick myself. Twice.)
But after wallowing for a couple of days, I gathered my thoughts and focused on preparing my portfolio. I sent out emails and waited for replies. And well, things got better!
Like things will always do, they get better.
The last adventure of the year rolled by and I went off to Japan with a couple of friends. We celebrated New Years at Yasaka Shrine in Kyoto and it was really exciting to watch the locals celebrate it in their own way.
And now 2016 has started. (I can't believe that it's already the middle of January.)
To You who are reading this,
Thanks for sticking around all this time.
It's been a blast.
Here's to You, 2016.
LET'S MAKE SOME MAGIC!